By Irena the Croation

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Right! Happy Wednesday! I'm sick as a dog, I can't stop coughing, I've got a raging headache, my body feels like I just went out on a date with the fifth battalion, every time I stand up vertigo kicks my ass, and I managed to break 104 degrees on the thermometer. I didn't go to work today; I stayed home with Elaina all day. Early evening, stalker visits. And what does he leave for me? A f*$%ing dead rat! Yeah. A dead rat; in a Safeway bag. With it's damn tail sticking out of the stupid bag. F&%@er, you have outdone yourself. At first I was laughing. I thought it was funny that he had the nerves to put this dead rat in a grocery bag, put it in his car (I presume he drove here), and leave it at my door. Then I got pissed off. Then I kind of got concerned. But it only lasted for a minute, and during that minute is when my whole night got fucked up.

I had the nerves to tell someone that I was concerned. And I 'misinterpreted' their response. But that person in particular... well... it's a complex situation. Let's just say that I care about that person a lot. And, every little thing that this person happens to do I dissect, study and ponder for hours on end. And tonight, it was the wrong response, and the wrong conversation following the response, and everything was just wrong. In the aftermath, I'm sitting here half asleep, withering somewhere between anger and sadness. I'm confused. I'd like to be angry, but it feels wrong. If it really was the truth, I am sorry. They could have found a better way to tell me so, though. I wonder if he ever even thinks about what it feels like on this end of the table. I know everything and then some about interpretation, perspective, self-control, blah blah blah. And I slipped. I surely did. Thank you, PMS. It must be PMS. Women ARE psychotic.

Happy Almost-Thursday.

Posted at 8:59 AM

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